A lot of junk comes through the letter box here on a daily basis. Small armies of dark foreign people stuff fliers for pizza places ad other takeaways through the door. There are brochures from electronic equipment shops, dry cleaners, groceries and a constant stream of beggar pleas, some wanting money, others clothes or both, many purporting to send relief to Africa.
And then there’s the actual Irish postal system, which often brings the truly unexpected and often unwelcome material to the door..
Take an 80-page slick booklet, for instance, that came recently, entitled: Preparing for Major Emergencies, An Introduction. Disaster for Idiots.
The book opens with an introduction over the signature and photo of former Taoiseach (Prime Minister) Bertie Ahern. His narrative opens with the note that ‘by sending this handbook to every home in the country, the Government seeks to provide reassurance that there are well thought out plans in place to be used in the event of a major emergency.’
In the pages that follow we’re given tips on what to do when we encounter things like flooding, exploding packages, pandemic influenza and nuclear incidents, among other potentially unhappy occurrences.
Some of the advice is very good as long as you’re not too bright to begin with. For instance, ‘If you find yourself near an explosion, get out of the vicinity as quickly and calmly as possible.’ No argument there. When there’s a flood, ‘remember: safety should always be your first concern.’ No kidding. Thanks a lot for that.
On the other hand, we don’t have to be too concerned with atomic disasters because the wind here predominantly blows eastward, the book notes. Yep, the breeze blows back towards, among other things, the Sellafield reactor 50 miles away in the UK that has one of the nuclear energy industry’s worst safety records. Critics have warned that a Chernobyl-like event at Sellafield could make a good part of Ireland’s east coast uninhabitable for a few thousand years. Blow winds blow!
Pandemic influenzas are a bit more concerning. If one of these intercontinental flus from hell visits here, we’re told to make sure we have enough food and paracetemol on hand. We’re also told to Worth Health Organization. I’ve been waiting for one of those for years already.
I don’t know what the budget was for this book, printed on shiny paper and nicely illustrated, but it certainly makes me all warm and fuzzy to think that someone out there in our government is worried about keeping us breathing when the worst is happening all around us.
And we thought no one cared.
Tags: disaster, nuclear, plague, self-help, survival, terrorism
